The Feminine Heart of God

In our weekly reading of the Torah, once again we are reading the sections which quite frankly, could be considered boring, or at the least not very relevant to our daily lives. This week was "Bamidbar", which is "In the Wilderness/Desert"; I was struck once again with the detail, order, and beauty commanded by the Lord. These revealed characteristics, a desire for order, an attention to the little details, the desire to use these details to create order and beauty, are all a revelation of the feminine heart of God.

In these days, it almost feels blasphemous to attribute any kind of femininity to the Most High. But the Torah is very clear right from Genesis chapter 1:17 "And God created man in His image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." It is clear that the female is as much the "image of God" as the male.  I think we mostly ignore this fact.

So, in these days when too many women are abused, or put down, or made to feel like second class citizens (or considered as property in many parts of the world), I think it is very important to get back to the realization that God is female as well as male. It is also important to read the scriptures with this in mind.  We must ask ourselves, where is the feminine heart of God in scripture?

Another question I really think we need to answer honestly, is this: is God more male than female? That's an ouch question because the answer is:  He (and I will use the He rather than It), is both, and if we are honest, He is equally both male and female. I know that Yeshua came to this earth as a male, but I don't think that makes God more male than female. I think that is an honest recognition of the difference between male and female, and the fact that as a woman Yeshua couldn't possibly have completed the mission he was sent to accomplish. But if you look at how he treated women, you will see that he treated them with as great a respect for their personhood as he did other men. He did not send them away, he did not despise, or denigrate them. In fact, in spite of how women were considered by the culture, his obvious attitude toward women was one of equal respect as fellow human beings. Consider that Mary and Martha thought of him as a good friend. Consider that he did not condemn the Samaritan woman at the well, but rather spoke with her and felt she was worthy of hearing the truth (in his view she was certainly worthy of being taught). Consider the woman caught in adultery, the woman who had the issue of blood, and many others.

So when we read scripture, when we look at the Torah, it is a good thing to keep in mind that while God is referred to in the masculine tense, yet, the feminine heart of God is clearly revealed in the parts that we find either "irrelevant" or "boring". Why should we care how each of the utensils of the Tabernacle were to be cared for? Or take the time to imagine how beautiful each was, that in fact, the Tabernacle was very beautiful? That the Tabernacle was a place of cleanliness, order, and beauty? That the camp of the Israelites was supposed to be a place of cleanliness, order, and beauty? All these things come from the feminine heart of God.  I had some friends once who crotched  a lovely Afghan out of red, purple, and gold, the colors used in the Tabernacle, because they wanted to see how they would look together. I think this honors the feminine heart of God.

So from now on when you get to the parts of Torah, that might be considered irrelevant to your life today, remember that very likely these places are vitally important to remembering how God created us both male and female "in His image". And to remember that God's heart is equally feminine and masculine and that both are revealed in His scripture. It honors Him to remember this and to look for His feminine heart.

Inside the Revolution

I read Joel Rosenberg's "Inside the Revolution" today. Awesome book! He really has his heart right when it comes to the peoples of the Middle East. I'm glad I read it because too often I focus on the Jihadists and though I don't quite forget that most of the Muslims in the Middle East are not violent, yet I've kind of been blaming them for not standing up to the evil in their midst. I pray regularly for my brothers and sisters in Christ who are persecuted for believing, and have forgotten that it is their joy to stay and stand and share with their enemies.

G-d forgive me for this oversite! I do try to remember that we don't fight against flesh and blood, but sometimes I feel really angry at what the Jihadists are doing, bringing such evil into the earth--but even their evil is being turned to good. The Lord has used their evil to turn many hearts toward Himself and what a wonder that is to me!

I've been praying that my light will shine brightly in this dark world. That I will be allowed to share the Love that Messiah has shared with me. And it's not that I doubt Him, but I do find myself doubting myself quite regularly.

Well, even if I am only a little light, yet at least a little is better than none, and perhaps that little can be used by G-d to bless others.

Kick the Bucket List

Lots of people my age have been inspired by the movie "The Bucket List". Yes, my dear daughters, I'm ancient, only don't tell that to your Grandmother. I have however, been thinking a lot about what I will call my "Kick the Bucket List". Yes, because of the grace of our Messiah, Yeshua, we have the wonderful privilege of thinking about what we'll be doing in eternity.

One day I was singing the last verse of "Amazing Grace". "When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise, then when we first begun" and I realized what those words really mean.

Now replace the "ten thousand" with any number you care to name. For instance, when we've been there ten billion years, or ten trillion years, we will still have no less days to sing God's praise, or do anything for that matter, because I truly do not believe that God created us to sit on clouds holding harps for eternity. No wonder non-believers get bored with the idea of heaven.

So, in the interest of bringing a little bit of "zing" into our thoughts about where we'll spend the rest of our lives after we die. I present my "Kick the Bucket List":

• Take piano lessons from Johan Sebastian Bach
• Sit and have a long (very long) conversation with C.S. Lewis about all his writings, both the ones here on earth and the ones he has since written in heaven.
• Sit and have a very long conversation with J.R.R. Tolkien. Wouldn't it be great if he actually finished the whole entire history of middle earth?
• Learn to dance really really well.
• Learn to ice skate
• Take music lessons from George Fredrich Handel.
• Watch an entire forest grow from the first seedling to full maturity. Maybe even create an entire forest garden, complete with streams and ponds.
• Since Brown Dwarf stars are essentially compressed carbon at high heat (diamonds), I would like to be on the team that designs and implements a laser system that can facet them. Wouldn't it be cool to see something the size of a star really twinkling with the reflected light of other stars?
• Explore an entire planet on horse back and/or sailing ship.
• learn how to paint really really well--like maybe learn from Thomas Kincaide? Or one of the great impressionists?
• Spend a long time just walking and talking with Yeshua (it's kind of cool because it wouldn't take time away from anyone else). We've got so much to talk about, I want to hear what He has to say.
• Talk history with the folks who actually lived it--if I still care.
• And I still have no less days to sing God's praise than when I first begun...

This kind of puts things into perspective.

"Now to Him who is able to do infinitely beyond all that we ask or even imagine. To Him be the glory in the church and to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Thinking of Dreams

I just did a post to the Dream River Ranch blog, which I also try to keep up with.  But that is for the ranch.  I want to expand on that theme a bit more here because here I am representing myself and not the ranch as a whole. 

In the ranch blog, I pointed out that right now I am living the dream I had as a little girl.  I used to read horse stories, play "Oregon Trail", play horses, think horses, dream horses.  The other day, I finally realized, I am living with horses.

As I grew up, I put the dream away because after all, it was impossible.  It was "above and beyond all that I could ask or think".  If a fairy had come down and given me a wish, I would have wished for what I have now (and a little bit more money--but that's another story). 

This is such an example of how the Lord Yeshuah brings us to the most unexpected places and gives us the desires of our hearts.  By the time I recieved Messiah at age fourteen, I had put the "horse dream" away. Little did I know that it resided, carefully kept, in the plans of my Lord.

The trick is, I almost missed it. I almost treated this fulfillment of my dream as though it were another humdrum part of life, rather than the wish fulfillment it really is. I was treating this dream, my dream, as though it meant no more than when I worked at the Sears warehouse in Dallas (the true definition of boring). 

Thankfully though, I didn't miss it.  I finally realized the other day while mucking a stall, that this was it!  This is my dream!  It is really happening! To me! Thank G-d!

Is life perfect?  No!  It is the real revelation of a little girl's wish.  Now the little girl is going to enjoy it.  Eeeeh Hawww!

A Bit of Book Review

Okay, I'm going to rave for a few minutes about a book I recently read. "The Shack" is pretty incredible IMHO. This book is totally focused on getting us out of our preconceived notions of how G-d relates to us and how we often mistake His meaning, intentions, and His love for all.

This book helped to draw me back to the inner relationship that is what Christ died for. We often mistake casualness for disprespect, but in this book I could really see that disrespect comes from judging the Creator of the Universe and from my own inner mistrust.

This book is totally awesome! I'm going to read it again and again, and also just try to remember to soak up the love that is offered to me, and trust that the Lord knows what He is doing in my life and in the lives of those that I love.

I highly recommend this book--maybe not for every believer, maybe you don't have any questions about how G-d does things. But I did.

I will also point out that the reason I bought this book to read, is because several of my friends and coworkers--who aren't all that religious--are reading and talking about it. This book was a total surprise to me and since I don't want to spoil that surprise for anyone else, I'm not including any spoilers.

Time & Calendars

I've been working with calendars lately. Trying to schedule everything ahead of time, because as with any ranch, summertime is really busy. Not only do you have the regular chores that you do daily no matter what, but there are also all the things we do in order to make the ranch pay for itself.

So there are camps and trail rides to provide for, a root cellar to build, tipis to put up, weed removal, horses to exercise and ride, and more, and still more. It can be a bit of a challenge to figure out.

But in the middle of all that, I have to find a way to provide time for myself to rest, to sit back, to reflect. So this year, I'm going to something I have never done before. I'm going to schedule time to rest and put it on the calendar. I have to. People who just keep going and going burn out because we aren't energizer bunnies.

It's very hard to do because there is so much that needs to get done. But I must take the long view. Do I still want to be at the ranch when I'm sixty? How about seventy? Yes, I do want to be able to live on the ranch when I'm old--so I must give myself time now or else I won't be able to be here then.

So I guess it's back to the calendar...

A Bit of That

One would think that having created a blog, one would at least post once in a while.

However, between Christmas and winter, I seem to have skipped this little detail of my life. But Christmas passed and winter is wearing away, so here I am back with something (or nothing) to say.

Which brings me to February. Every year at this time of year, I question my reasons for living in a place where it gets cold, snowy, windy, and in general would freeze palm trees right out of existence (which would explain why there aren't any). Why couldn't I just pick up stakes and try to find a life somewhere further south?

Well, that's exactly it--the stakes. I have put down deep roots where I live. I have a job that I love, live in a place that I love (normally) with people that I really care about. So this time of year, I find myself reminding myself daily, that it's not about me, or the climate, it's about the others for whom I care.

Maybe I'm pretending that I matter in their lives--but I think that I really do matter to the people I care about. Which is why I can't just leave--even though it's February and it's mighty tempting.

But this also makes me thankful to the Lord. He has made my life matter to others. If I left, I would be missed. This seems amazing and wonderful to me.

So I just remember why I'm here, in this cold place, and hunker down and wait for spring to come. Because it will come, and then summer and the cycle of life will continue, and I will still have a job that I love and live with people that I love and who care about me as well.

Thanks Father!